soulscape

My friend Stacey did one of these and myspace, so I thought I would do it too

IN THE YEAR 2008:

1. Will you be looking for a new job?
No, I’m enjoying my current job with Mosaic every much.

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship?
Sure, I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time, and I think I’m ready.

3. New house?
Not likely.

4. What will you do different in ‘08?
Every year I want to grow bolder but wiser. This year, I want to specifically be bolder and wiser in all my relationships.

5. New Years resolution?
To get better with my finances and spend more time investing in people.

6. What will you NOT be doing in ‘08?
Looking back

7. Any trips planned?
Hopefully to Beijing during the Olympics. Maybe Seattle? Probably a couple other trips around the country related to Mosaic/Urban Poets.

8. Wedding plans?
Highly unlikely — still single.

9. Major thing on your calendar?
The Beijing trip should be a major 1-2 week trip. A couple of big conferences (Rethink Conference this month; Awaken 2008 in April; Origins in November). Mostly Mosaic/Urban Poets related.

10. What can’t you wait for?
I look forward to everytime I take stage with my fellow performers. I look forward to those real moments and real conversations with my friends.

11. What would you like to see happen different?
I would like to be able to open up more often, and more quickly. I realize I can have a shell around me with people I don’t know as well.

12. What about yourself will you be changing?
I’m getting better but everyday I want to become more determined, more resourceful, more proactive, and less lazy.

13. What happened in ‘07 that you didn’t think would ever happen?
I never figured I would be walking through a vineyard under the full moon in Stellenbosch, an area renowned for its wineries, just outside Capetown in South Africa. That there would be lightning in the distance and close friends nearby. It was a beautiful end to my South Africa trip in ‘07. Like my friend Stacey, I probably never figured I would dance in front of 5,000 people in a multi-million dollar facility, during our trip to Willow Creek. I never figured I would get to work with such talented people, as the people I perform with from Mosaic.

14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about?
Nice is one thing. Real and honest is another.

15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in ‘07?
Maybe…I’ve recently started enjoying more vintage clothing lately. Moving away from the hip-hop/street styles.

17. Will you better your relationship with your family?
It’s been slowly improving this year.

18. Will you do charity work?
Almost all my dancing is volunteer work.

19. Will you go to bars?
Occasionally…although a drink can also be had in a nice restaurant, or in someone’s home.

20. Will you be nice to people you don’t know?
Well I can definitely be nicer.

21. Do you expect ‘08 to be a good year for you?
Yes!

22. How much did you change from this time last year til now?
I feel like I’ve changed a lot in the past year! In fact I feel like a completely different person than three years ago when I returned to Los Angeles.

23. Do you plan on having a child?
Not this year.

24. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?
I haven’t had anyone to kiss in many midnights, but who knows?

25. One wish for 2008?
That I have no regrets at the end of the year!

A nice poem. You can watch it with a beautiful visual presentation at:

theinterviewwithgod.com

Click on “View Presentation”

THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered…
“That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up, and then
long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money…
and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither
the present nor the future.”

“That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked…
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons
you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone
love them. All they can do
is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good
to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive
by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people
who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can
look at the same thing
and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

“Thank you for your time,” I said humbly.

“Is there anything else
you would like your children to know?”

God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here… always.”

-author unknown

On Sunday, after Mosaic’s morning gathering on the Westside, a group of us were talking and were joined by a woman named Evette. It was about 12:30 and a few of us men were just chitchatting as we were making our way out to lunch. What was just casual banter turned serious when Evette joined us and started talking about some of the amazing things that had been happening in her life.

I can’t really reveal her stories here, since they’re not mine to reveal, but they concerned just the way God had been arranging some things in her life, completely, in a way, turning her life upside down, while at the same time pointing her toward an amazing future.

Three hours later, our group was finally ready to move on. It was three hours of some of the meatiest spiritual discussion I’ve been part of in a while. I went with two of the guys, Sean and Rob, to have a late lunch and we ended up talking for a couple more hours.

One of the themes that Evette hit was the idea of surrender. Just complete surrender of your life, letting God take the reins. Indeed, the stories that were told could not have happened unless Evette had been ready to surrender herself to what God wanted to do, and if she wasn’t preparing herself constantly with prayer.

It was a great reminder for myself, as for a long time now I’ve been fairly independent, stubborn, and often rebellious. For someone as hard-headed as myself, it takes years of trying to do it my way and failing to finally get the picture.

Tonight, this theme was hammered home as I flipped through the book of Proverbs. I happened upon Proverbs 16, which begins like this:

“We humans make plans, but the Lord has the final word. We may think we know what is right, but the Lord is the judge of our motives. Share your plans with the Lord, and you will succeed.”

This hit the nail on the head for me. I know what it’s like to constantly make my own plans and then stumble around in the dark. To make plans and see that they take me into dead ends. To strike out on my own and then wonder later, “What was I thinking?”

There’s a lot of bad connotations that come with the word surrender. But as the Word also says, wisdom is all about realizing how little you know. And if you are surrendering yourself to God, that, I am discovering, may be the wisest thing us humans can ever learn to do.

I remember veeery little from when I was young. Almost nothing from when I was younger than five. I can’t really say I remember much from between five and ten, neither. I know, as I’m saying this it sounds pretty strange — one friend says I have repressed memories.

Regardless, I got a little peek into the past tonight. For whatever reason, I don’t ask my parents much about when I was young, but today, they were talking about some incidents from when I was two or three years old.

My mom helps take care of a couple of babies, both only around one to one and half years old. Apparently, the younger one is starting to stress my mom out a little bit by upending small furniture and items and doing other things.

She was talking to my dad about this, and it got them to start talking about ME when I was really young.

When I was around two or three, and my family and I were all still living in Vietnam, my parents owned a sort of general store or bakery. Well, about four or five buildings down the street was a theater, where music concerts and other plays or performances occurred. I guess I was usually at the store with my parents as they managed it. However, whenever some sort of performance played at the theater, they would have to keep a careful eye on me, because I guess I would always leave the store on my own, walk down the street, and go into the theater.

Of course, because I was only two or three, the ticket counterperson wouldn’t see me and I would go inside and watch the show. It sounded like this happened often, and my dad would always have to run into the theater and look all around until he found me.

Also, my mom says that they had a cabinet and shelf where they kept the stereo. Apparently, I often pulled out the drawers at the bottom. I would pull the bottom out the furthest, then the next, and so on, until I had created steps for myself to climb up. I would sit up there and turn on the stereo so I could listen to music.

Wow. I don’t remember any of this at all, but so many years later, I’m dancing, choreographing, and enjoying putting together dance performances. I used to say that I never had an idea about what I wanted to do when “I grew up,” unlike many other kids. But perhaps I had a clue from the very beginning, when I was two or three, and for whatever reason, I just forgot about it.

And then, amazing, God still brought me back to the things that I was so passionate about even as a toddler. All the while, I was simply along the ride, unaware of what was going on. The simplicity but complexity of it all stuns me.

I’m currently listening to “A Stream With Bright Fish” from the soundtrack of The Pearl, by Brian Eno et al. I discovered this song randomly at a place called Hear Music on the 3rd Street Promenade. It was under their suggested ambient tracks, and immediately it took me away. There’s one perfect word for the mood this song puts you in: peace.

That’s the wonder of music. It takes you to different places, different moods, almost instantaneously. As soon as the keys, a melody, a beat, begins, you’re surrounded by a new environment, and the sound ignites images, emotions, and thoughts.

“A Stream” is aptly named, as you can easily imagine the lapping waters. For me, I can see myself sitting in a chair on the back deck of a house at sunset, a deck overlooking an expansive and calm lake. Mountains are in the distance, and the stars are beginning to peek out overhead. There is not a cloud in the sky.

But beyond the images, this song digs up more. After all, what am I thinking about, sitting on that deck? Am I happy? Sad? Alone? Am I reminiscing over past successes, or wondering what could have been of past failures? Am I resting after a long day, or brainstorming about tomorrow?

If I sit here and dream enough, so much could come out of one song. I recommend you listen to “A Stream with Bright Fish” also, in private, and see where it takes you.

Here’s other songs I recommend that can take you on a journey:

- “A Letter from Home” by Ulrich Schnauss (makes me think of dawn in a city)
- “Bolero (Closing Credits)” from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack Vol. 2
- “Max Payne Theme” from the Max Payne 2 soundtrack (you can find it at www.mp3search.ru)
- “This Woman’s Work” by Maxwell
- “I Am” by Nichole Nordeman
- “Breathe Me” by Sia